From Depression to Gratitude

One of my favorite Buddhist gurus, Rick Hanson, shared this quote from Leonard Cohen: “I know your burden’s heavy as you wheel it through the night. The guru says it’s empty; that doesn’t make it light.” Wow! The last few days, I’ve felt as though I was wheeling a heavy burden. After sleeping as many hours as possible, only waking to slog through necessary duties, today was a wholly different experience. Everything was a joyous event, from washing my vehicle, filling up with gas, doing laundry, shopping for food, visiting with a friend — for every little thing, I was grateful. The gratitude I felt often was expressed through verbal outbursts, sometimes tears, always a calm joy running through every movement and activity. Yes! Let’s not be afraid of dark feelings of depression; rather, follow your heart and do what you must do. For me, it was excessive sleep and a pulling away from unnecessary activity. Keep on keeping on, until you’re able to rise in gratitude! “The mind that is made willing to accept God’s gifts has been restored to spirit, and extends its freedom and its joy, as is the Will of God united with its own.” ACIM #330 

“I will not hurt myself again today. Let us this day accept forgiveness as our only function. Why should we attack our minds, and give them images of pain? Why should we teach them they are powerless, when God holds out His power and His Love, and bids them take what is already theirs? The mind that is made willing to accept God’s gifts has been restored to spirit, and extends its freedom and its joy, as is the Will of God united with its own. The Self which God created cannot sin, and therefore cannot suffer. Let us choose today that He be our Identity, and thus escape forever from all things the dream of fear appears to offer us.

“Father, Your Son cannot be hurt.  And if we think we suffer, we but fail to know our one Identity we share with You. We would return to It today, to be made free forever from all our mistakes, and to be saved from what we thought we were.”

A Course in Miracles W-330.1:1–2:3

“Error begins by reckoning life as separate from Spirit, thus sapping the foundations of immortality, as if life and immortality were something which matter can both give and take away.”

Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 539:3-7 

Satisfied Aspirations

Art: Duy Huynh Studio

I spent years searching for love, grasping at brightly colored baubles and bangles, not realizing that I am Love and nothing can be more beautiful and complete than that. Seeing wholeness and unity, where I once saw separation, has brought the contentment which was so elusive. The false contentment found in marijuana and alcohol was an illusionary peace used as a hiding place for a while, but eventually I had to emerge and face what it was which kept me restless. When nothing ever seems to be enough, perhaps it's because we need it All, and that Allness can only be found in one place, a place not present in changing, temporal life. This study which teaches me the meaning of reality also fills me with a calm before unknown, and I am very grateful!

“Who hath found finite life or love sufficient to meet the demands of human want and woe, — to still the desires, to satisfy the aspirations? Infinite Mind cannot be limited to a finite form, or Mind would lose its infinite character as inexhaustible Love, eternal Life, omnipotent Truth.”

Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 257:24-29

“I have already chosen what You will. Father, I thought I wandered from Your Will, defied it, broke its laws, and interposed a second will more powerful than Yours. Yet what I am in truth is but Your Will, extended and extending. This am I, and this will never change. As You are One, so am I one with You. And this I chose in my creation, where my will became forever one with Yours. That choice was made for all eternity. It cannot change, and be in opposition to itself. Father, my will is Yours. And I am safe, untroubled and serene, in endless joy, because it is Your Will that it be so.

“Today we will accept our union with each other and our Source. We have no will apart from His, and all of us are one because His Will is shared by all of us. Through it we recognize that we are one. Through it we find our way at last to God.”

A Courser in Miracles W-329.1:1–2:4

Upside Down Perceptions

Photo from National Geographic

 Fear

by Khalil Gibran

It is said that before entering the sea 

A river trembles with fear.

She looks back at the path she has traveled,

from the peaks of the mountains,

the long winding road crossing forests and villages.

And in front of her,

she sees an ocean so vast,

that to enter

there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.

But there is no other way.

The river can not go back.

Nobody can go back. 

To go back is impossible in existence.

The river needs to take the risk 

of entering the ocean

because only then will fear disappear

because that’s where the river will know

it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,

but of becoming the ocean.

“Every concept which seems to begin with the brain begins falsely. 

Divine Mind is the only cause or Principle of existence. Cause does not exist in matter, in mortal mind, or in physical forms.” 

Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 262:28-32

“I choose the second place to gain the first. What seems to be the second place is first, for all things we perceive are upside down until we listen to the Voice for God. It seems that we will gain autonomy but by our striving to be separate, and that our independence from the rest of God’s creation is the way in which salvation is obtained. Yet all we find is sickness, suffering and loss and death. This is not what our Father wills for us, nor is there any second to His Will. To join with His is but to find our own. And since our will is His, it is to Him that we must go to recognize our will.

“There is no will but Yours. And I am glad that nothing I imagine contradicts what You would have me be. It is Your Will that I be wholly safe, eternally at peace. And happily I share that Will which You, my Father, gave as part of me.”

A Course in Miracles W-328.1:1–2:4

Empty Conceptions of Deity

Photo attributed to Agneta Cristea 

How surprised would you be if your prayers were answered? I have a friend who tells me she's given up on God, because she's never seen any proof. Upon questioning her, it turns out she has a laundry list of things she asks for regularly, and none of her wishes have come true. Once again, I think we often confuse divine Love with Santa Claus. We may be asking some guy in the sky for special dispensation, rather than recognizing that this Principle is an eternal activity which we can plug into at any time. It's kind of like electricity: It's there, but it doesn't supply our needs unless we know how to utilize it. I’m learning the secret to plugging in is to not want anything! By not delineating what we think we need, but rather keeping our thoughts tuned to the divine Mind, all our needs are supplied, often before we know what they are …

“How empty are our conceptions of Deity! We admit theoretically that God is good, omnipotent, omnipresent, infinite, and then we try to give information to this infinite Mind. We plead for unmerited pardon and for a liberal outpouring of benefactions. Are we really grateful for the good already received? Then we shall avail ourselves of the blessings we have, and thus be fitted to receive more. Gratitude is much more than a verbal expression of thanks. Action expresses more gratitude than speech.”

Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 3:17-27

“I need but call and You will answer me. I am not asked to take salvation on the basis of an unsupported faith. For God has promised He will hear my call, and answer me Himself. Let me but learn from my experience that this is true, and faith in Him must surely come to me. This is the faith that will endure, and take me farther and still farther on the road that leads to Him. For thus I will be sure that He has not abandoned me and loves me still, awaiting but my call to give me all the help I need to come to Him.

“Father, I thank You that Your promises will never fail in my experience, if I but test them out. Let me attempt therefore to try them, and to judge them not. Your Word is one with You. You give the means whereby conviction comes, and surety of Your abiding Love is gained at last.”

A Course in Miracles W-327.1:1–2:4

A Transformed and Forgiven World

Photo credit: Aaron Springston

Do you have an incident from childhood which has stayed with you, perhaps affecting the way you live today? I know someone who, as a young child, caught her mother in a compromising position with a man other than her father. She refuses to marry. I know a man who found his father dead from a self-inflicted gunshot to the head. His whole life is a series of dramatic events which he blames on that incident. I'm sure you know many stories, too. The Disappearance of the Universe, a book by Gary Renard, speaks to events such as these, and more. When we let go of beliefs, we can release our personal history, too. I love hearing stories of people who experience horrendous events and remain not only happy, but proactive. This thing we call forgiveness isn't some sort of divine pardon, but a yielding within ourselves to purity of thought, without the impediments of holding on to memories of wrongdoing, resentment, and pain of all sorts. This yielding includes the release of things we think have been done to us, along with things we think we have done to others. So let's choose again, rest in Love, and go forward with joy!

“As the crude footprints of the past disappear from the dissolving paths of the present, we shall better understand the Science which governs these changes, and shall plant our feet on firmer ground.”  

Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 223:4

“I am forever an Effect of God. Father, I was created in Your Mind, a holy Thought that never left its home. I am forever Your Effect, and You forever and forever are my Cause. As You created me I have remained. Where You established me I still abide. And all Your attributes abide in me, because it is Your Will to have a Son so like his Cause that Cause and Its Effect are indistinguishable. Let me know that I am an Effect of God, and so I have the power to create like You. And as it is in Heaven, so on earth. Your plan I follow here, and at the end I know that You will gather Your effects into the tranquil Heaven of Your Love, where earth will vanish, and all separate thoughts unite in glory as the Son of God.

“Let us today behold earth disappear, at first transformed, and then, forgiven, fade entirely into God’s holy Will.”

A Course in Miracles 26.1:1–2:1

Reflecting Truth or Dreams

Once a month, I play the organ at what previously was the Christian Science society. I was one of three remaining members of that organization and when we closed our doors, the building was deeded over to a non-profit organization called Heart of Many Ways. This was the dream of a local woman — to create a safe space for smaller spiritual groups to meet.  This month, a flutist joined me. She chose a beautiful number called Deer Song, from the oratorio, Concerning Matthew Shepard. We asked a local Englishman to narrate the beautiful words along with this exquisite tune. We ended our hour of classical duets with this emotional piece. (If you’re interested in knowing more about this young man, Matthew, or the song, it’s easily found online). After the well-received program, the woman who facilitates happenings in this group called me with fears and concerns. She was worried that this emotionally-charged selection could cause people to sink into despondency, perhaps even triggering suicide. I listened to her. Realizing that “all things I think I see reflect ideas”, I understand everyone will not interpret events the same. I choose to see this song as a beautiful call to action for those of us who stand up for human rights. I realize, also, that some may see it as a sad event which stays with them, creating anxiety. I am grateful to see both sides of this story. 

“All things I think I see reflect ideas. This is salvation’s keynote: What I see reflects a process in my mind, which starts with my idea of what I want. From there, the mind makes up an image of the thing the mind desires, judges valuable, and therefore seeks to find. These images are then projected outward, looked upon, esteemed as real and guarded as one’s own. From insane wishes comes an insane world. From judgment comes a world condemned. And from forgiving thoughts a gentle world comes forth, with mercy for the holy Son of God, to offer him a kindly home where he can rest a while before he journeys on, and help his brothers walk ahead with him, and find the way to Heaven and to God.

“Our Father, Your ideas reflect the truth, and mine apart from Yours but make up dreams. Let me behold what only Yours reflect, for Yours and Yours alone establish truth.”

A Course in Miracles W-325.1:1–2:2

“Ideas of Truth alone are reflected in the myriad manifestations of Life, and thus it is seen that man springs solely from Mind.” 

Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 543:26-28

Political Events and Spiritual Insights

Starting on November 6, in these daily writings I included a definitive statement on my feelings about the recent presidential election. Throughout the past 13 years of writing this blog, I have either blatantly or by inference addressed different political situations. For the past two weeks, I have steeped myself in writings and videos from spiritual seers who are very helpful in the present situation we face. When it seems appropriate, I will be sharing my interpretations of this wisdom. I fully understand if someone does not want to read about this, and I will not be upset if you ask to be removed from this mailing list. Today I went to lunch with old friends, and one of my Course in Miracles buddies was with us. As we entered the restaurant, I asked him to not bring up politics. While I have come to terms with my feelings about this situation, I’m not ready to speak to anyone who wants to argue points of fact. One of our group knows nothing about current events, and the other is in the midst of cognitive decline. At this point, and perhaps for a long time to come, it’s important to be aware of others’ feelings. Tomorrow, I will have something to say about that, as there was an inadvertent upsetting of others in a musical performance I was involved in today. May we be kind to others, ourselves, and all the animals and plants around us … Namaste. 

“Life, Truth, and Love are the realities of divine Science. They dawn in faith and glow full-orbed in spiritual understanding. As a cloud hides the sun it cannot extinguish, so false belief silences for a while the voice of immutable harmony, but false belief cannot destroy Science armed with faith, hope, and fruition.” 

Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 298:2-7

“I merely follow, for I would not lead. Father, You are the One Who gave the plan for my salvation to me. You have set the way I am to go, the role to take, and every step in my appointed path. I cannot lose the way. I can but choose to wander off a while, and then return. Your loving Voice will always call me back, and guide my feet aright. My brothers all can follow in the way I lead them. Yet I merely follow in the way to You, as You direct me and would have me go.

“So let us follow One Who knows the way. We need not tarry, and we cannot stray except an instant from His loving Hand. We walk together, for we follow Him. And it is He Who makes the ending sure, and guarantees a safe returning home.”

A Course in Miracles W-324.1:1–2:4