August 5, 2012 - I Am Gratitude

"Montana Trees"
photo by Aaron Springston

A Course in Miracles Lesson #217 (review)

Central Theme:

“I am not a body. I am free.

For I am still as God created me.”

Specific review: (#197) “It can be but my gratitude I earn.

The last few days' reviews have brought us to many thresholds of release. We have released the past, the future, the present. Often I'm asked how this is to be done. How do we let go of a memory of an event which haunts us? How do we forgive an incident which seems unforgivable? The ultimate understanding is that it never happened; that it's an illusion,  a projection of thought from our mortal mind, and nothing more. But, I am asked, how do you see that reality when the seeming-reality keeps coming back, causing you to relive the painful memory of whatever it is? When my mind wants to replay a circumstance in all its glorified pathos, I recognize that I have a choice. I can choose again and not see that person, that event, in a way which causes me to feel yet more pain, anger, sorrow. I can think instead of the goodness, kindness, and love inherent in everyone, and allow its reality to form an image in my thought. I can play lots of games with myself in this way, and perhaps cajole myself out of thinking badly or sadly. But to get to the root of this circular dream, the answer may lie in the ideas we're studying today. "It can be but my gratitude I earn". I take this to mean, in part, that I needn't worry about what anyone else thinks about me. If I am being true to myself, to God, that is enough. There are instances from my past which I used to relish telling other people, replaying them in my mind at the slightest provocation. The realization that everyone is doing the best that they can, whether I want to think this is good enough or not, is all it took to relieve the burden I had placed on myself in regard to the attacks I insisted on sending out to others and myself. Gratitude is usually thought of as an outward action to be given, not received. But we have learned that what we give IS what we receive, and this is so with gratitude, also. Salvation often implies a thing to be sought after and earned through attrition of some sort. The salvation we speak of today is a realization that we are Love (God), that the thanks we give is a perpetual realization of this Being that we are, and by this knowing we live in Love and unending gratitude of All that Is.  This understanding brings us to the Truth of Being. This understanding of Truth is salvation, for which I am very grateful.

Mary Baker Eddy quote:

“In Hebrew, Greek, Latin, and English, faith and the words corresponding thereto have these two definitions, trustfulness and trustworthiness. One kind of faith trusts one's welfare to others. Another kind of faith understands divine Love and how to work out one's ‘own salvation, with fear and trembling.’ ‘Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief!’ expresses the helplessness of a blind faith; whereas the injunction, ‘Believe . . . and thou shalt be saved!’ demands self-reliant trustworthiness, which includes spiritual understanding and confides all to God.”

Science & Health Page 23:21-31

August 4, 2012 - Divinely Inspired or Ego-Oriented

A Course in Miracles  Lesson #216 (review)

Central Theme:

“I am not a body. I am free.

For I am still as God created me.”

 Specific review: (#196) “It can be but myself I crucify.”

"Mark in Mongolia"
photo by Aaron  Springston 

In the last two lessons, we've been releasing the past and the future, so it only makes sense that we address the present, too! I've never understood how/why people are rude to others. It has never made any sense to me, and I've always thought that they must be making a special effort to be mean, as it seems natural to be nice. Lately, I think I'm beginning to understand. It seems that most of the time I'd rather not speak to anyone, for any reason. I'm so happy just being in my cozy little home, that it's quite an effort to get out and be interactive in any way. While I don't feel I'm being rude, I'm certainly not being as friendly as I used to be.  And I like to think I'm not being mean to anyone, but there is at least one person I can think of who probably sees me as just that! I've been examining the motives in my actions toward her. It's my responsibility to see that the employees of my gallery support the loving atmosphere for which we've become known. People often walk in the door and breath a sigh of relief, as they feel the peace which radiates from the hundreds of pieces of art within our space. I have allowed a disruption to live within these walls. It hasn't been a big one, but it's enough that I've known something must change. And when I didn't have the fortitude to facilitate this change, I became angry at myself, which I manifested toward her. So in attacking this dear woman who is doing the best that she can, I have nailed myself to the cross of my own making. I've always loved the expression, "hoisted on your own petard". It seems I'm doing just that! So today I will see us all as free of any imaginary attacks or perpetrations of thought. I will hold no grudge against anyone, including myself, and move forward, knowing forgiveness and salvation for all. When confronted with any thought, in order to ascertain if it is divinely inspired or ego-oriented, I rely on how it makes me feel. Does this thought bring peace and harmony within, or does it cause me to feel the opposite? Enough said. And so today I will release the present also, when it is no more than ego-induced angst.

Mary Baker Eddy quote:

“How are veritable ideas to be distinguished from illusions? By learning the origin of each. Ideas are emanations from the divine Mind. Thoughts, proceeding from the brain or from matter, are offshoots of mortal mind; they are mortal material beliefs. Ideas are spiritual, harmonious, and eternal.”

Science & Health Page 88:9-14

Am I Living in the Future?

"Bryce Canyon"
photo by Aaron Springston

A Course in Miracles Lesson #215

Central theme:

"I am not a body. I am free.

For I am still as God created me."

 Specific review: Lesson (#195): "Love is the way I walk in gratitude."

In yesterday's lesson, we released the past. In today's, we release the future. Although these two illusions of time and space are only that, we tend to live in one or the other most of the time.  For me, the future is even more difficult to release than the past.  Childhood fantasies of the way things could be, expectations projected onto loved ones, wondering what tomorrow will bring, all these thoughts can be haunting. But years of practicing the art of being open to Love with no expectations have brought interesting results! A big one that comes to mind is the evolution of a business I started called Eureka Thyme. At its inception, I imagined an herbal gift shop, hence its name. It quickly took on a life if its own and I chose to follow, by listening for inner knowing rather than sticking with what I had dreamed. Through this process, the business focus has shifted from locally-made herbal gifts to locally-created art and fine craft.  This happened through having no parameters for what I would sell there, other than it must be made with Love. And this flowing idea now blesses more than a hundred people who sell everything from handmade wooden toys to fine art! This eight-year process has shown me much in the way of listening and following. It takes practice to see the difference between pushing for what I want and being led by the Spirit that I am. Axioms such as "Let go and let God" may seem mundane, even ridiculous to some, but for me it's the only way. If I'd insisted on having what I wanted-- which was, I suppose, to be Martha Stewart of the Ozarks -- well. let's not go there! All I do know is it's wonderful just as it is, for which I'm most grateful.

Mary Baker Eddy quote:

“Spiritual sense, contradicting the material senses, involves intuition, hope, faith, understanding, fruition, reality.”

Science & Health Page 298:13-14

"Giving it to God: What does that mean?"

"Crossing a River in Mongolia"
photo by Aaron Springston

A Course in Miracles Lesson #214

Central theme:

"I am not a body. I am free.

For I am still as God created me."

Specific review: (#194) "I place the future in the Hands of God."

Today's advice is to place the future in God. Some of us tend to rebel when asked to let anyone be in charge of our future, so this notion of putting the future in God's hands may seem rather presumptive!  But there is no loss of individuality in this process. On the contrary, there is more freedom from allowing divine Mind to be in charge than there is with making decisions dictated by material belief and habit. I know someone who is involved in the messy settlement of her mom's estate. When she gets letters from the attorneys, she puts them in her bible and says she's giving it to God. This is not what we're talking about today! The willingness to radically rely on God opens the way for ideas and spiritual sense to lead us in ways we haven't known before. And things are allowed to "come up" from the depths of our emotional stores, allowing them to be acknowledged and released. That's what I call "giving it to God"! The past is gone. So why does it often seem to be with us?! Recently, I've had a shift in feeling toward my parents. They were beautiful, kind, generous people; this I've always acknowledged and appreciated. But those memories seemed to be dimmed by the stronger remembrances of their latter days. I had feelings of anger and betrayal, and guilt concerning my part in it all. I've realized that some things they did came from their love, colored by strong opinions about the way things should be. The things I did came from selfishness and fear. All these feelings fell out of me in a rush. Although I've never been into imagery, such as sending inharmonious thoughts into outer space, I thoroughly swept those feelings up off the floor and mentally dispelled them on the spot! With every release of well-rehearsed past events, or the quiet recognition of never-thought-of guilt or pain, peace becomes reality for me. And it doesn't matter if anyone was right or wrong, it doesn't make any difference what motives were involved, part of me has been emptied to be filled with the only reality: Love.

Mary Baker Eddy quote:

“We cannot fill vessels already full. They must first be emptied. Let us disrobe error. Then, when the winds of God blow, we shall not hug our tatters close about us.”

Science & Health Page 201:13-15

August 1, 2012 - Why am I Really Upset?

A Course in Miracles Lesson #213 (review)

Central Theme:

“I am not a body. I am free.

For I am still as God created me.”

Specific Review: (#193) “All things are lessons God would have me learn.”

"Salt Lake City, Utah Sunrise"
photo by Aaron Springston

I'm learning to love the things which I find disturbing, distressing, or even mildly unsettling. When I'm hit in the face with strong or mild negative emotions, I can be pretty sure that it's because of something which I've done, or am doing, some form of thought which correlates to the sense I find so distracting! And so when I become upset over something, I make time to examine it as quickly as possible, before I forget the feeling of this distress. Why do I want to do it quickly? Because I've found that mortal mind, or the ego, will quickly convince me that I am right for feeling this way, and that there is no reason to examine what I'm thinking in my own thought, or doing in my own life, which causes me to feel angry or sad or disturbed -- or whatever way it may be manifested. The Course in Miracles tells us in Lesson #193, "I will forgive, and this will disappear." This is what I'm doing when I say I make time to examine the situation and my reaction to it. I'm not going to analyze and take notes, or make lists of pros and cons, but I am going to seriously look at what is behind my emotional response to the event. Now, when tears come to my eyes because I hear that a fellow gallery owner is near to passing after a long illness, I don't need to sit down and tell myself that there is no death and delineate the reasons this is so. I'm simply feeling sad for her sweet family and friends who will miss her so. And in that feeling of Love which swells my heart and overflows from my eyes, I see them all in their true existence as reflections of All That Is, God. Yes, we are learning, expanding consciousness, accepting Reality. For this, I am most grateful.

Mary Baker Eddy quote:

“Sorrow has its reward. It never leaves us where it found us. The furnace separates the gold from the dross that the precious metal may be graven with the image of God. The cup our Father hath given, shall we not drink it and learn the lessons He teaches?”

 Science & Health Page 66:30-3

July 31, 2012 - What is My Function?

"Aaron in Italy - 2006"
photo by Mike Cheathum

A Course in Miracles Lesson #212 (review)

Central Theme:

“I am not a body. I am free.

For I am still as God created me.”

Specific Review: (#192) “I have a function God would have me fill.”

Throughout our early years we are often asked the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" We are encouraged to choose a profession as our function in life. Many of us were never comfortable with that, and didn't manage to do so! For instance, I graduated from high school a year early because I wanted to get out into the world. I went to college because that's what everyone was supposed to do. I majored in music because everyone expected me to. After I year of that, I knew I couldn't stand being a band director in a small town, so I decided to be practical. I spent some time in the college of business, then spent a couple of years taking literature courses, finally ending up in education before I quit entirely. There was absolutely nothing I could imagine doing all my life! But the all-around general education I had acquired perfectly equipped me to be a free-lance court reporter, which I did for thirty years. I suppose it's rather difficult to decide as a teenager that you want to be an art gallery owner and a metaphysical maven :) What if, rather than choosing what we "want to be", we are instead taught to love ourselves and the world around us, with no preconceived notion of what we plan to do with our lives? What if, by living and expressing Love, we find ourselves drawn to our true purpose, the "function God would have us fill"? Just imagine how happy everyone would be! When the expression of Love is our purpose, our function becomes obvious. And it's never too late to see it!

Mary Baker Eddy quote:

“Spirit, God, gathers unformed thoughts into their proper channels, and unfolds these thoughts, even as He opens the petals of a holy purpose in order that the purpose may appear.”

Science & Health Page 506:18-21

July 30, 2012 - Humility in Knowing True Identiy

"Soccer game, Real Salt Lake"
photo by Aaron Springston

A Course in Miracles Workbook Lesson #211 (review)

Central Theme:

“I am not a body. I am free.

For I am still as God created me.”

Specific review: (#191) “I am the holy Son of God Himself.”

Humility is the word which jumps out at me from the lesson we are reviewing today. Combine that with the central theme for this review and we see that it is the ultimate humility to accept our true identify as a reflection of God. It seems that all the disagreements between people stem from not realizing this Truth of our Being. By placing our idea of self in a certain nationality, or gender, or religion, is to set up an us-against-them mentality with which we've been shooting ourselves in the foot for far too long. It seems so simple to think we can accept the reality of our being, created as the perfect idea of divine Mind. This realization is the ultimate humility. Some think that to be humble is to be self-effacing and have an I'm-not-worthy attitude. But this does a huge disservice to God, as it assumes that this one Mind has made a mistake. Yet there are no mistaken identifies in the creation of Spirit. We all have a song to sing, and they all are part of the grand symphony of Life. To rejoice in being One with everyone, to live from Love rather than fear and its imaginings, is to humbly accept the goodness inherent in All. I will turn away from the illusion of material problems as I wholeheartedly accept my function as a reflection of God, and see that image mirrored in everyone I meet.

Mary Baker Eddy quote:

"Praying for humility with whatever fervency of expression does not always mean a desire for it. If we turn away from the poor, we are not ready to receive the reward of Him who blesses the poor. We confess to having a very wicked heart and ask that it may be laid bare before us, but do we not already know more of this heart than we are willing to have our neighbor see?"

Science & Health Page 8:20-27