My neighbor across the street was in her 90s when she moved away. After her husband passed on, she was unhappy with everything around her. Holidays reminded her of times they shared, and she was sad they were over. The changing of seasons brought grief for various husband-related reasons. She didn't enjoy meals or celebrations of any sort because she couldn't share them with him. We spoke many times about these things, because she talked about him a lot. When she would lament her life and tell me why she was sad, I'd remind her of the joy around her and encourage her to participate. I talked her into going to a Willie Nelson concert with me once, but she mentioned time and again what Jack (her husband) would say. I don't think she understood it was all right to be happy. She felt she would dishonor him by having fun without him. But I saw it as the opposite: the dishonor was in turning from joy to sadness in the name of love. I highly advocate honoring grief and feeling it to its full extent, giving it its due and turning it inside out. I know many widow women (as my mother would have called us), and I hope you will post your feelings and ideas on the blog, which is linked below. Namaste, dear friends ...
“Human affection is not poured forth vainly, even though it meet no return. Love enriches the nature, enlarging, purifying, and elevating it. The wintry blasts of earth may uproot the flowers of affection, and scatter them to the winds; but this severance of fleshly ties serves to unite thought more closely to God, for Love supports the struggling heart until it ceases to sigh over the world and begins to unfold its wings for heaven.” Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 346: 13-16
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