Let It Be

 

photo credit: Aaron Springston

I once heard it said that a person will be more disappointed about things they did NOT do than things they did do. My hope for humankind is that we stop beating ourselves up about past things, whether we did them or not. Replacing disappointments with forgiveness, we can experience peace. Whatever we have done, it’s okay. As I’ve quoted previously, It’s what we do in the present which redeems the past and changes the future. The present, right now: It’s what we’re doing right here and now which brings redemption and peace. I’ve looked at my life with an eye to regrets. Of course, there are many times of wondering what might have been, had different turns in the road been taken -- but overall I have no disappointments about choices. I like my life: yesterday, today, and tomorrow. (Smiley-face emoticon)

“If Life has any starting point whatsoever, then the great I Am is a myth. If Life is God, as the scriptures imply, then Life is not embryonic, it is infinite. An egg is an impossible enclosure for Deity.” Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 550:20

Love Out Loud

 

Kevin and granddaughter

Kevin has a son, two stepsons, a stepdaughter -- and a daughter whom he has never met in person. I had spoken with his stepdaughter in California/Oregon before his passing, and we became friends. They thought of each other as father/daughter. In the past two weeks, all these children have been in contact with me. What a diverse group of young people they are! I have enjoyed talking to his first serious high school girlfriend, who was a foreign exchange student from Mexico. His first wife, the mother of his son, has been kind and I’ve enjoyed our chats. There is a common thread running through all these communications: we all loved Kevin very much. There will be a Zoom memorial with old and new friends, family, anyone who wants to honor the fine man he is. If anyone would like to join, let me know and I’ll give you a link. I look forward to hearing more stories and connecting the dots between places he lived and jobs he had. Life is such an adventure! Don’t forget to express your heartfelt feelings to your loved ones, especially if you haven’t done that in a few years. Don’t be afraid to love out loud!

“Human affection is not poured forth vainly, even though it meet no return. Love enriches the nature, enlarging, purifying, and elevating it. The wintry blasts of earth may uproot the flowers of affection, and scatter them to the winds; but this severance of fleshly ties serves to unite thought more closely to God, for Love supports the struggling heart until it ceases to sign over the world and begins to unfold its wings for heaven.” Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 57:22

Just Dropped In To See What Condition My Condition Was In

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Today a friend mentioned she was watching a movie and thinking, “those people should have their masks on!” — before remembering it was a movie from years ago. Thinking about this, I realize how quickly we become conditioned to any kind of behavior, such as mask wearing. Perhaps because of my thought in this vein, I choose a movie to watch during the Super Bowl called “Bombshell”, which is the true story of three beautiful women who were newscasters on Fox News and sued Roger Ailes for sexual harassment, starting the #MeToo movement. Roger Ailes was the head of this production, which (among other things) instructed their employees to look for stories which would “scare your grandmother and piss-off your grandfather”. And we fell for it. We allowed ourselves to be conditioned into thinking it’s normal to demonize those who do not agree with us. We are all guilty of this to some extent, don’t you think? Acknowledging problems is the first step in finding solutions to them, and we’re on our way to doing this. Let’s work to keep an open mind and heart, listening rather than reacting, and seeing truth rather than belief.

"In order to apprehend more, we must put into practice what we already know. We must recollect that Truth is demonstrable when understood, and that good is not understood until demonstrated." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 323

Friendship

 Kahlil Gibran on Friendship

​"​Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;

For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.​"

Comfort and Joy

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Every Christmas season, I put cards from friends on the inside of my front door. This year, I had not taken them down until yesterday, when I replaced them with cards of support from friends following Kevin’s death. I love looking at them as much as I did the holiday cards -- probably more, as opening one now and again brings a smile and a certain connection with the person whose handwriting presents itself. I had started contacting people by snail mail earlier in the year, and I vow to continue into the future! It’s truly a unifying activity, don’t you think? 

"PSALM XXIII [Divine love] is my shepherd; I shall not want. [Love] maketh me to lie down in green pastures: [love] leadeth me beside the still waters. [Love] restoreth my soul [spiritual sense]: [love] leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for [love] is with me; [love’s] rod and [love’s] staff they comfort me.

[Love] prepareth a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: [love] anointeth my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house [the consciousness] of [love] for ever." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 577:4-18

Intuitions

 

art by Judith Griffith

Listening to intuition is a learned behavior. When I’m drawn to something, I tend to yield, knowing there must be a reason. When looking for a movie to watch, an old Nick Nolte film called “Affliction” asked for my attention, so I gave it. The bottom line was an examination of a man who had been severely terrorized by his dad when he was a child. These past four years have caused me to closely look at what is known as the pain body. The pain we experience in our lives, the pain which is not faced and honored and released, stays with us. It may erupt at the slightest provocation and is the cause for many uncomfortable holiday gatherings. After watching this movie and pondering its implications, up popped the old tv series, Friday Night Lights. Another painful phenomenon is addressed here: high school football. I have heard stories of shame, abuse, ignored concussions, heat strokes, and foolish adoration heaped on star players. These videos have helped me understand a few things. There is much to consider here.

"Angels: God's thoughts passing to man; spiritual intuitions, pure and perfect; the inspiration of goodness, purity, and immortality, counteracting all evil, sensuality, and mortality." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 481:4

A Thought That Came to Pass

photo credit: Aaron Springston

 A few days ago, I mentioned my friend, Pat, had given me a beautifully wrapped gift. I finally opened it! It is “Awakening Osiris - The Egyptian Book of the Dead. It is a beautiful book and I could quote many things here, but these are the words which jumped out at me: “I am a thought that came to pass. Long believed, I live forever. I am words repeated often. I am a happy man. I am a blessed man. I am a perfecting man. I am love and shall endure forever. I am a thankful man, a man of peace, poetry, dream. I am a well-fed man. I am a dancing man beloved of gods. I am an old man who has lived long. I am heading home.” Thank you everyone, for the blessings you have brought to the world. I am grateful.

"Immortal and divine Mind presents the idea of God: first, in light; second, in reflection; third, in spiritual and immortal forms of beauty and goodness. But this Mind creates no element nor symbol of discord and decay. God creates neither erring thought, mortal life, mutable truth, nor variable love.” Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 503:20-25

Gentle Beam of Living Love

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photo credit: Aaron Springston

The steps of grief are slippery, are they not? Today I got Kevin's ashes back from the crematorium. The emotions I felt were surprising. When the delivery man came to the door, I had a very possessive reaction, grabbing the box and holding it close; almost saying "get your hands off of him". After sitting quietly with these feelings for a bit, I started to wonder how I could be sure it was him. Heck, this could be a cow's bones for all I know! After thinking weird things like this for a while, I settled back into my sensibilities, reminding myself it doesn't really make any difference if it's actually his remains or someone else's. There is nothing there but some inert matter, and where he lives is in Love, which is evidenced everywhere I look. While it's tempting to keep the things he loved, I have given away his telescope to dear friends who will look at the night sky as gleefully as he did. Just as Kevin enjoyed Ken Starbird's tools which Sandy gave him, someone will think of him when they use his weed eater or look at the moon through his favorite lens. He's smiling with me at that thought...

"Thou gentle beam of living Love,

     And deathless Life!

Truth infinite -- so far above

     All mortal strife..."

from the poem Christmas Morn by Mary Baker Eddy

Exponential Thanksgiving

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photo credit: Datura Böes

Today I express gratitude for the circumstances which caused me to retire from the art sales business in 2015. If I had continued with Eureka Thyme, I would not be playing organ/piano for three congregations in town. If I hadn't accompanied choirs, I would not have discovered there was a local duplicate bridge game. If I had continued running my gallery, I would never have had time to meet Kevin. When we reconnected through Facebook, we spent a year-and-a-half getting to know each other by way of telephone conversations and writing. I am reminded of these things because today I heard an interview with Tony Bennett's wife. He has been dealing with Alzheimer's since 2016.  A number of things were mentioned which we should do to keep our brains active: social interactions, music, and mind games were three which caught my attention. I play bridge -- a lot. Our weekly foursome recently added a conference call during our online game, so it's like being together at a table, but we don't have to go anywhere! While bridge isn't everyone's cup of tea, there are many other stimulating things we can do. We can sing and dance, by ourselves or with our housemates. Reading out loud is second only to playing music, so they say. Kevin enjoyed playing his drum along with youtube videos. It seemed like a party to him! But the point of today's writing is gratitude. I think it's exponential! 

"Gratitude is much more than a verbal expression of thanks. Action expresses more gratitude than speech." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 3

I Carry Your Hearts...

Today has seemed difficult to maneuver without tears, perhaps due to lack of sleep. So I'm not writing this evening, but sending you a beautiful poem shared by snail mail, and a photo which sweet Lee sent to me of last night's sky. Thank you all for the thoughts and kindnesses...

photo credit: Lee Harvill

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

BY E. E. CUMMINGS

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Sky Of Many Colors

 

photo credit: Arthur Bruno

When I got home from church duties today, it was nearing sundown. The sky was every color imaginable. The grays rolling across the blue and pink and orange, highlighted by blackness here and there, with even a few flashes of distant lightning. Then there were big fluffy golden-glowing clouds, defying description. The wind was blowing enough that the vultures were floating around on the currents, playing their before-sleep games while entertaining all who enjoy watching them, not minding who loves them or despises them. The dogs and cats watched the birds, who happily played chase with each other, or perhaps the game was Simon Says. It’s truly a glorious time to be sitting on the front porch! As John Cougar Mellencamp says: “Life goes on, long after the thrill of livin’ is gone.” This life is a thrill! Which reminds me of something I've told before: Life is like a roller coaster. Some people find it scary and stressful; others think it's exciting and fun. It's all how we look at it, don't you think?

"Arctic regions, sunny tropics, giant hills, winged winds, mighty billows, verdant vales, festive flowers, and glorious heavens -- all point to Mind, the spiritual intelligence they reflect. The floral apostles are hieroglyphs of Deity. Suns and planets teach grand lessons. The stars make night beautiful and the leaflet turns naturally towards the light." Mary Baker Eddy, Science & Health Page 240

Every Little Thing

 

​Today has been a dreamy, trippy day! I’ve wandered around the house, gazing at the kalanchoe plant blossoms, noticing colors playing off each other in the house, communing with the cool Buddha recently given to me by Carol Peacock when she realized I didn’t have one in the house. Then mid-afternoon, Pat Quinn stopped by and gave me the most beautifully-wrapped gift! I don’t know what it is, as I want to enjoy the uniqueness of the package, along with the anticipation of what is in it. I don’t really wonder what it is (although my first thought, that it was a book, was dispelled by feeling around the edges). Every little thing today has felt as though I’m melding with it. Washing dishes and placing them on the new stainless steel, double-decker dish drainer. Practicing the piano for services tomorrow, one live-streamed and live-in-the-room; the other recorded with musicians and clergy, to be found on the traditional worship day. I could mosey around in the ethereal memories for quite some time, but I won’t. Life is Good...

"Sleep and apathy are phases of the dream that life, substance, and intelligence are material. The mortal night dream is sometimes nearer the fact of being than are the thoughts of mortals when awake. The night-dream has less matter as its accompaniment. It throws off some material fetters. It falls short of the skies, but makes its mundane flights quite ethereal." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 249:29

How High The Moon

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photo credit: Charles Chappell

The older I get, the more I love small towns. I got a letter in the mail today from a woman whom I've known for 20 years, but never once sat down to a meal with her, or had tea, or had an in-depth conversation. Yet, we know each other well through mutual friends, from gallery strolls, and by way of a small, independent school we both support. After reading her incredibly beautiful letter, I began to think how many other people fit into the category of good friends, even though we don't "visit" with each other. I quote Lucilla's opening lines: "This is coming from afar. I never met Kevin Wright, although I knew through Dina that he was part of your life. Therefore, with a certain audacity as well as humility, I boldly write." We who live in this small town neighborhood can write things like this! I wish I could share the entire letter, but I will leave you with this joyful message: "I'm glad that he waltzed into your life. I'm thrilled that he stirred routine and took Eureka on. I'm joyous that your heart expanded to include him." Me too, dear Friend, me too. 

"The sun, giving light and heat to the earth, is a figure of divine Life and Love, enlightening and sustaining the universe." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 538:11

Joyous Reunions

 

Kevin and Old Friend

​Today has been wonderful! I chatted with several of Kevin's old friends, including his first wife, and also his high school sweetheart (who was a foreign exchange student from Mexico). It's wonderful to hear how much he is loved, and I treasure the stories they bring to me. His best friend from forever wants to hold a Zoom memorial, including long-time friends all over the country to celebrate his life. I can't think of anything better! Would this be happening if it were not for the pandemic? Probably no one would think about this possibility. We would go about our ritual memorials, meeting in a small room with people who are able to be in the area. But because of our expanded thought about what is possible in this new world we are creating, we will meet together while apart, happily joined in our love for Kevin. The possibilities are limitless in this age of technology and the realization of higher thought and what reaching for that zenith means to us all! I can hardly wait to see what unexpected joys tomorrow will bring! 

"Tender words and unselfish care in what promotes the welfare and happiness of your wife will prove more salutary in prolonging her health and smiles than stolid indifference or jealousy. Husbands, hear this and remember how slight a word or deed may renew the old trysting-times." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health, Page 59:16

Embracing Grief

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PC: Aaron Springston

Tonight I'm sharing words from my son, about a letter from a fine woman who wrote to me shortly after Kevin's passing. I've read her letter numerous times, each reading bringing comfort and peace. I shared it with my son, Aaron, and he wrote this eloquent praise for her expression: "This is very impressively written! She’s got wonderful perspective that only could be absorbed with great personal awareness. Her expression is the epitome of confident and wise vulnerability! You have such great friends. Thanks for sharing." All you great friends will be fodder for "dailies" for weeks to come! As Ramona once joked: "Be careful of what you say; you may end up in the dailies!" I'll be writing about you guys for weeks! Comfort and joy, indeed! Here are a few sentences from my friend, Lin Wellford's note:  "It feels to me like each small thing that pops up must be felt and honored and then cauterized the way a wound needs tending. It's wearying work because it comes and goes and what may set off a 'grief storm' is hard to anticipate." This brought things into focus for me, as it's easy to skip over the "honoring" part as the wave of grief has a strong undertow. Encouragement, such as this, from friends heals me and sends me into tomorrow without fear of the work involved in walking through pain.

"The Divine Being must be reflected by man, -- else man is not the image and likeness of the patient, tender, and true, the One 'altogether lovely,' but to understand God is the work of eternity, and demands absolute consecration of thought, energy, and desire." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 3:12

The Joy of Learning

 

In reading a review of the book, Beginners, I was delighted by the whole concept, particularly the sub-title "The Joy and Transformative Power of Lifelong Learning". The author, Tom Vanderbilt, relates to us the things he has learned which have brought him joy. He took singing lessons and sang with a choir; he learned to surf, taking his whole family to Costa Rica for this endeavor; he learned to juggle, draw, and create jewelry. Tom isn't looking for something to crow about on social media, but rather he wants skills he can relax into and slowly develop over his lifetime. He says, "It's about small acts of reinvention, at any age, that can make life seem magical." He's also interested in finding out more about the process of learning. He believes the key to learning new things is shifting the focus off yourself. For instance, juggling: you don't look at the balls, but rather the apex of where things are thrown. He has learned that time slows down when you stop thinking. He has found that doing these things brings him "an immense and almost forgotten kind of pleasure." I love the idea of learning new things, simply for the pleasure of learning them, don't you? 

“It takes the whole of life to learn how to live..." ― Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Another Hafiz Poem

 Apologies! Last night I was so tired I forgot to give credit to Hafiz for the poem I sent out! It is translated by Daniel Ladinsky. It seems all I want to do is sleep, so I send out another Hafiz poem, with the same translation. 

A Great Need

Out

Of a great need

We are all holding hands

And climbing.

Not loving is a letting go.

Listen,

The terrain around here

Is

Far too

Dangerous

For

That.

You and Me and God in a Tiny Room

                                             I Want Both Of Us

                                    A poem from Hafiz

I want both of us

To start talking about this great love

As if you, I, and the Sun were all married

And living in a tiny room,

Helping each other to cook,

Do the wash,

Weave and sew,

Care for our beautiful

Animals.

We all leave each morning

To labor on the earth's field.

No one does not lift a great pack.

I want both of us to start singing like two

Travelling minstrels

About this extraordinary existence

We share,

As if

You, I, and God were all married

And living in

A tiny

Room.

Skewed Perception

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photo credit: Aaron Springston - Crystal Bridge Museum

A main point in A Course in Miracles is to release the beliefs which color our perception. As long as I think that guy's purple and he eats worms and he isn't very nice, it will be quite difficult to see who he truly is. In my years as a court reporter, I vividly saw how witnesses at the scene of an accident would interpret the event in vastly different ways. If we think a public figure is going to act in a brazenly pompous way, we will probably interpret everything he does in that light. If someone we've known all our lives has been maligned and whispered about for years, we might say something foolish like "a leopard doesn't change its spots", as we callously regard that person through our expectations of unacceptable behavior. There are many maxims which apply to this: judge not, that ye be not judged -- and others. Once again, I go back to Jesus' two commandments: Love everybody and love God more. I renew my vows today to live by these dictums, especially if I'm being tempted to believe someone else is not. Namaste...

"A dream of judgment came into the mind that God created perfect as Himself. And in that dream was Heaven changed to hell, and God made enemy unto His Son. How can God's Son awaken from the dream? It is a dream of judgment. So must he judge not, and he will waken. For the dream will seem to last while he is part of it. Judge not, for he who judges will have need of idols, which will hold the judgment off from resting on himself. Nor can he know the Self he has condemned. Judge not, because you make yourself a part of evil dreams, where idols are your ‘true identity’, and your salvation from the judgment laid in terror and in guilt upon yourself.” A Course in Miracles T-29.IX.2

Rising in Love

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photo credit: Aaron Springston

Grief is a topic which is explored from every angle -- analyzed, questioned, dissected, and generally turned every which way but loose. I find happiness peeking through the veil of sadness, and it is a relief. It's more difficult when leaving the safe haven of home, because you never know what triggers you're going to run into out there. I went to an insurance office today to insure a vehicle, not imagining anything traumatic could happen. But, sure enough, the lady looking at her computer says, "I see here Kevin Wright lives in your home". Good grief, who would have thought! Yesterday's trip to the cremation place was an expected grief-causing visit, but it turned out to be bizarre enough to compensate for any additional tears. I suppose I'm talking about this because it feels good to embrace the sadness, and it feels good to let it go for spots of laughter. The only thing which doesn't feel good are the moments of guilt and blame, but thank goodness for the spiritual lessons I'm learning. Forgiveness is more than what we think it is, and less. Kevin was always amazed that I didn't hold grudges, whether toward him or others. It is sort of amazing to me, too! Who knows what new horrors and wonders tomorrow may bring? "There is nothing either good nor bad, but thinking makes it so." Thank you, Mr. Shakespeare! 

"If grief causes suffering, convince the sufferer that affliction is often the source of joy, and that he should rejoice always in ever-present Love." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 377:3