Gentle Beam of Living Love

 ​

photo credit: Aaron Springston

The steps of grief are slippery, are they not? Today I got Kevin's ashes back from the crematorium. The emotions I felt were surprising. When the delivery man came to the door, I had a very possessive reaction, grabbing the box and holding it close; almost saying "get your hands off of him". After sitting quietly with these feelings for a bit, I started to wonder how I could be sure it was him. Heck, this could be a cow's bones for all I know! After thinking weird things like this for a while, I settled back into my sensibilities, reminding myself it doesn't really make any difference if it's actually his remains or someone else's. There is nothing there but some inert matter, and where he lives is in Love, which is evidenced everywhere I look. While it's tempting to keep the things he loved, I have given away his telescope to dear friends who will look at the night sky as gleefully as he did. Just as Kevin enjoyed Ken Starbird's tools which Sandy gave him, someone will think of him when they use his weed eater or look at the moon through his favorite lens. He's smiling with me at that thought...

"Thou gentle beam of living Love,

     And deathless Life!

Truth infinite -- so far above

     All mortal strife..."

from the poem Christmas Morn by Mary Baker Eddy

Exponential Thanksgiving

 ​

photo credit: Datura Böes

Today I express gratitude for the circumstances which caused me to retire from the art sales business in 2015. If I had continued with Eureka Thyme, I would not be playing organ/piano for three congregations in town. If I hadn't accompanied choirs, I would not have discovered there was a local duplicate bridge game. If I had continued running my gallery, I would never have had time to meet Kevin. When we reconnected through Facebook, we spent a year-and-a-half getting to know each other by way of telephone conversations and writing. I am reminded of these things because today I heard an interview with Tony Bennett's wife. He has been dealing with Alzheimer's since 2016.  A number of things were mentioned which we should do to keep our brains active: social interactions, music, and mind games were three which caught my attention. I play bridge -- a lot. Our weekly foursome recently added a conference call during our online game, so it's like being together at a table, but we don't have to go anywhere! While bridge isn't everyone's cup of tea, there are many other stimulating things we can do. We can sing and dance, by ourselves or with our housemates. Reading out loud is second only to playing music, so they say. Kevin enjoyed playing his drum along with youtube videos. It seemed like a party to him! But the point of today's writing is gratitude. I think it's exponential! 

"Gratitude is much more than a verbal expression of thanks. Action expresses more gratitude than speech." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 3

I Carry Your Hearts...

Today has seemed difficult to maneuver without tears, perhaps due to lack of sleep. So I'm not writing this evening, but sending you a beautiful poem shared by snail mail, and a photo which sweet Lee sent to me of last night's sky. Thank you all for the thoughts and kindnesses...

photo credit: Lee Harvill

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

BY E. E. CUMMINGS

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Sky Of Many Colors

 

photo credit: Arthur Bruno

When I got home from church duties today, it was nearing sundown. The sky was every color imaginable. The grays rolling across the blue and pink and orange, highlighted by blackness here and there, with even a few flashes of distant lightning. Then there were big fluffy golden-glowing clouds, defying description. The wind was blowing enough that the vultures were floating around on the currents, playing their before-sleep games while entertaining all who enjoy watching them, not minding who loves them or despises them. The dogs and cats watched the birds, who happily played chase with each other, or perhaps the game was Simon Says. It’s truly a glorious time to be sitting on the front porch! As John Cougar Mellencamp says: “Life goes on, long after the thrill of livin’ is gone.” This life is a thrill! Which reminds me of something I've told before: Life is like a roller coaster. Some people find it scary and stressful; others think it's exciting and fun. It's all how we look at it, don't you think?

"Arctic regions, sunny tropics, giant hills, winged winds, mighty billows, verdant vales, festive flowers, and glorious heavens -- all point to Mind, the spiritual intelligence they reflect. The floral apostles are hieroglyphs of Deity. Suns and planets teach grand lessons. The stars make night beautiful and the leaflet turns naturally towards the light." Mary Baker Eddy, Science & Health Page 240

Every Little Thing

 

​Today has been a dreamy, trippy day! I’ve wandered around the house, gazing at the kalanchoe plant blossoms, noticing colors playing off each other in the house, communing with the cool Buddha recently given to me by Carol Peacock when she realized I didn’t have one in the house. Then mid-afternoon, Pat Quinn stopped by and gave me the most beautifully-wrapped gift! I don’t know what it is, as I want to enjoy the uniqueness of the package, along with the anticipation of what is in it. I don’t really wonder what it is (although my first thought, that it was a book, was dispelled by feeling around the edges). Every little thing today has felt as though I’m melding with it. Washing dishes and placing them on the new stainless steel, double-decker dish drainer. Practicing the piano for services tomorrow, one live-streamed and live-in-the-room; the other recorded with musicians and clergy, to be found on the traditional worship day. I could mosey around in the ethereal memories for quite some time, but I won’t. Life is Good...

"Sleep and apathy are phases of the dream that life, substance, and intelligence are material. The mortal night dream is sometimes nearer the fact of being than are the thoughts of mortals when awake. The night-dream has less matter as its accompaniment. It throws off some material fetters. It falls short of the skies, but makes its mundane flights quite ethereal." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 249:29

How High The Moon

 ​

photo credit: Charles Chappell

The older I get, the more I love small towns. I got a letter in the mail today from a woman whom I've known for 20 years, but never once sat down to a meal with her, or had tea, or had an in-depth conversation. Yet, we know each other well through mutual friends, from gallery strolls, and by way of a small, independent school we both support. After reading her incredibly beautiful letter, I began to think how many other people fit into the category of good friends, even though we don't "visit" with each other. I quote Lucilla's opening lines: "This is coming from afar. I never met Kevin Wright, although I knew through Dina that he was part of your life. Therefore, with a certain audacity as well as humility, I boldly write." We who live in this small town neighborhood can write things like this! I wish I could share the entire letter, but I will leave you with this joyful message: "I'm glad that he waltzed into your life. I'm thrilled that he stirred routine and took Eureka on. I'm joyous that your heart expanded to include him." Me too, dear Friend, me too. 

"The sun, giving light and heat to the earth, is a figure of divine Life and Love, enlightening and sustaining the universe." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 538:11

Joyous Reunions

 

Kevin and Old Friend

​Today has been wonderful! I chatted with several of Kevin's old friends, including his first wife, and also his high school sweetheart (who was a foreign exchange student from Mexico). It's wonderful to hear how much he is loved, and I treasure the stories they bring to me. His best friend from forever wants to hold a Zoom memorial, including long-time friends all over the country to celebrate his life. I can't think of anything better! Would this be happening if it were not for the pandemic? Probably no one would think about this possibility. We would go about our ritual memorials, meeting in a small room with people who are able to be in the area. But because of our expanded thought about what is possible in this new world we are creating, we will meet together while apart, happily joined in our love for Kevin. The possibilities are limitless in this age of technology and the realization of higher thought and what reaching for that zenith means to us all! I can hardly wait to see what unexpected joys tomorrow will bring! 

"Tender words and unselfish care in what promotes the welfare and happiness of your wife will prove more salutary in prolonging her health and smiles than stolid indifference or jealousy. Husbands, hear this and remember how slight a word or deed may renew the old trysting-times." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health, Page 59:16