The "Pain Body"

photo credit: Aaron Springston

Eckhart Tolle (and others) tell us to face negative emotions when we have them, then acknowledge them and allow them to leave us. If we do not, they are stored within us and can come forth in ugly ways. Perhaps it’s a simmering, constant anger expressed as irritation or unhappiness. Or maybe there will be a big explosion of well-hidden anger or sadness, surprising us all with its intensity. There are many expressions of this so-called pain body. Here is his definition of it: “Any negative emotion that is not fully faced and seen for what it is, in the moment it arises, does not completely dissolve. The energy field of old, but still very much alive, emotion that lives in every human being is the pain body.” It is this pain body which shows up at Thanksgiving dinner when everyone triggers everyone else’s past pains. We can generally hide our lurking negative emotions fairly well, unless we live with someone. This is why the intimate relationship is a perfect vehicle for clearing out past pain, because it is so often shown to us! In the past, I’ve been willing to walk away from closeness, confining unwanted emotions to a deep, untouched space. I guess the time has come to face them...

“Can the purpose of a relationship be to trigger our wounds? In a way, yes, because that is how healing happens; darkness must be exposed before it can be transformed. The purpose of an intimate relationship is not that it be a place where we can hide from our weaknesses, but rather where we can safely let them go. It takes strength of character to truly delve into the mystery of an intimate relationship, because it takes the strength to endure a kind of psychic surgery, an emotional and psychological and even spiritual initiation into the higher Self. Only then can we know an enchantment that lasts.”― Marianne Williamson, Enchanted Love: The Mystical Power Of Intimate Relationships