Today has seemed difficult to maneuver without tears, perhaps due to lack of sleep. So I'm not writing this evening, but sending you a beautiful poem shared by snail mail, and a photo which sweet Lee sent to me of last night's sky. Thank you all for the thoughts and kindnesses...
This blog began by presenting the daily workbook lesson from A Course in Miracles with a correlative passage from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, with my writing in between telling tales of how I use these ideas in daily life. In 2019, my format became more free form. What you find here are short dissertations on what I notice each day. Feel free to comment!
Sunday, January 31, 2021
I Carry Your Hearts...
Saturday, January 30, 2021
Sky Of Many Colors
When I got home from church duties today, it was nearing sundown. The sky was every color imaginable. The grays rolling across the blue and pink and orange, highlighted by blackness here and there, with even a few flashes of distant lightning. Then there were big fluffy golden-glowing clouds, defying description. The wind was blowing enough that the vultures were floating around on the currents, playing their before-sleep games while entertaining all who enjoy watching them, not minding who loves them or despises them. The dogs and cats watched the birds, who happily played chase with each other, or perhaps the game was Simon Says. It’s truly a glorious time to be sitting on the front porch! As John Cougar Mellencamp says: “Life goes on, long after the thrill of livin’ is gone.” This life is a thrill! Which reminds me of something I've told before: Life is like a roller coaster. Some people find it scary and stressful; others think it's exciting and fun. It's all how we look at it, don't you think?
Friday, January 29, 2021
Every Little Thing
Today has been a dreamy, trippy day! I’ve wandered around the house, gazing at the kalanchoe plant blossoms, noticing colors playing off each other in the house, communing with the cool Buddha recently given to me by Carol Peacock when she realized I didn’t have one in the house. Then mid-afternoon, Pat Quinn stopped by and gave me the most beautifully-wrapped gift! I don’t know what it is, as I want to enjoy the uniqueness of the package, along with the anticipation of what is in it. I don’t really wonder what it is (although my first thought, that it was a book, was dispelled by feeling around the edges). Every little thing today has felt as though I’m melding with it. Washing dishes and placing them on the new stainless steel, double-decker dish drainer. Practicing the piano for services tomorrow, one live-streamed and live-in-the-room; the other recorded with musicians and clergy, to be found on the traditional worship day. I could mosey around in the ethereal memories for quite some time, but I won’t. Life is Good...
Thursday, January 28, 2021
How High The Moon
The older I get, the more I love small towns. I got a letter in the mail today from a woman whom I've known for 20 years, but never once sat down to a meal with her, or had tea, or had an in-depth conversation. Yet, we know each other well through mutual friends, from gallery strolls, and by way of a small, independent school we both support. After reading her incredibly beautiful letter, I began to think how many other people fit into the category of good friends, even though we don't "visit" with each other. I quote Lucilla's opening lines: "This is coming from afar. I never met Kevin Wright, although I knew through Dina that he was part of your life. Therefore, with a certain audacity as well as humility, I boldly write." We who live in this small town neighborhood can write things like this! I wish I could share the entire letter, but I will leave you with this joyful message: "I'm glad that he waltzed into your life. I'm thrilled that he stirred routine and took Eureka on. I'm joyous that your heart expanded to include him." Me too, dear Friend, me too.
Wednesday, January 27, 2021
Joyous Reunions
Today has been wonderful! I chatted with several of Kevin's old friends, including his first wife, and also his high school sweetheart (who was a foreign exchange student from Mexico). It's wonderful to hear how much he is loved, and I treasure the stories they bring to me. His best friend from forever wants to hold a Zoom memorial, including long-time friends all over the country to celebrate his life. I can't think of anything better! Would this be happening if it were not for the pandemic? Probably no one would think about this possibility. We would go about our ritual memorials, meeting in a small room with people who are able to be in the area. But because of our expanded thought about what is possible in this new world we are creating, we will meet together while apart, happily joined in our love for Kevin. The possibilities are limitless in this age of technology and the realization of higher thought and what reaching for that zenith means to us all! I can hardly wait to see what unexpected joys tomorrow will bring!
Tuesday, January 26, 2021
Embracing Grief
Tonight I'm sharing words from my son, about a letter from a fine woman who wrote to me shortly after Kevin's passing. I've read her letter numerous times, each reading bringing comfort and peace. I shared it with my son, Aaron, and he wrote this eloquent praise for her expression: "This is very impressively written! She’s got wonderful perspective that only could be absorbed with great personal awareness. Her expression is the epitome of confident and wise vulnerability! You have such great friends. Thanks for sharing." All you great friends will be fodder for "dailies" for weeks to come! As Ramona once joked: "Be careful of what you say; you may end up in the dailies!" I'll be writing about you guys for weeks! Comfort and joy, indeed! Here are a few sentences from my friend, Lin Wellford's note: "It feels to me like each small thing that pops up must be felt and honored and then cauterized the way a wound needs tending. It's wearying work because it comes and goes and what may set off a 'grief storm' is hard to anticipate." This brought things into focus for me, as it's easy to skip over the "honoring" part as the wave of grief has a strong undertow. Encouragement, such as this, from friends heals me and sends me into tomorrow without fear of the work involved in walking through pain.
"The Divine Being must be reflected by man, -- else man is not the image and likeness of the patient, tender, and true, the One 'altogether lovely,' but to understand God is the work of eternity, and demands absolute consecration of thought, energy, and desire." Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 3:12
Monday, January 25, 2021
The Joy of Learning
In reading a review of the book, Beginners, I was delighted by the whole concept, particularly the sub-title "The Joy and Transformative Power of Lifelong Learning". The author, Tom Vanderbilt, relates to us the things he has learned which have brought him joy. He took singing lessons and sang with a choir; he learned to surf, taking his whole family to Costa Rica for this endeavor; he learned to juggle, draw, and create jewelry. Tom isn't looking for something to crow about on social media, but rather he wants skills he can relax into and slowly develop over his lifetime. He says, "It's about small acts of reinvention, at any age, that can make life seem magical." He's also interested in finding out more about the process of learning. He believes the key to learning new things is shifting the focus off yourself. For instance, juggling: you don't look at the balls, but rather the apex of where things are thrown. He has learned that time slows down when you stop thinking. He has found that doing these things brings him "an immense and almost forgotten kind of pleasure." I love the idea of learning new things, simply for the pleasure of learning them, don't you?
Sunday, January 24, 2021
Another Hafiz Poem
Apologies! Last night I was so tired I forgot to give credit to Hafiz for the poem I sent out! It is translated by Daniel Ladinsky. It seems all I want to do is sleep, so I send out another Hafiz poem, with the same translation.
A Great Need
Out
Of a great need
We are all holding hands
And climbing.
Not loving is a letting go.
Listen,
The terrain around here
Is
Far too
Dangerous
For
That.
Saturday, January 23, 2021
You and Me and God in a Tiny Room
I Want Both Of Us
A poem from Hafiz
I want both of us
To start talking about this great love
As if you, I, and the Sun were all married
And living in a tiny room,
Helping each other to cook,
Do the wash,
Weave and sew,
Care for our beautiful
Animals.
We all leave each morning
To labor on the earth's field.
No one does not lift a great pack.
I want both of us to start singing like two
Travelling minstrels
About this extraordinary existence
We share,
As if
You, I, and God were all married
And living in
A tiny
Room.
Friday, January 22, 2021
Skewed Perception
A main point in A Course in Miracles is to release the beliefs which color our perception. As long as I think that guy's purple and he eats worms and he isn't very nice, it will be quite difficult to see who he truly is. In my years as a court reporter, I vividly saw how witnesses at the scene of an accident would interpret the event in vastly different ways. If we think a public figure is going to act in a brazenly pompous way, we will probably interpret everything he does in that light. If someone we've known all our lives has been maligned and whispered about for years, we might say something foolish like "a leopard doesn't change its spots", as we callously regard that person through our expectations of unacceptable behavior. There are many maxims which apply to this: judge not, that ye be not judged -- and others. Once again, I go back to Jesus' two commandments: Love everybody and love God more. I renew my vows today to live by these dictums, especially if I'm being tempted to believe someone else is not. Namaste...
Thursday, January 21, 2021
Rising in Love
Grief is a topic which is explored from every angle -- analyzed, questioned, dissected, and generally turned every which way but loose. I find happiness peeking through the veil of sadness, and it is a relief. It's more difficult when leaving the safe haven of home, because you never know what triggers you're going to run into out there. I went to an insurance office today to insure a vehicle, not imagining anything traumatic could happen. But, sure enough, the lady looking at her computer says, "I see here Kevin Wright lives in your home". Good grief, who would have thought! Yesterday's trip to the cremation place was an expected grief-causing visit, but it turned out to be bizarre enough to compensate for any additional tears. I suppose I'm talking about this because it feels good to embrace the sadness, and it feels good to let it go for spots of laughter. The only thing which doesn't feel good are the moments of guilt and blame, but thank goodness for the spiritual lessons I'm learning. Forgiveness is more than what we think it is, and less. Kevin was always amazed that I didn't hold grudges, whether toward him or others. It is sort of amazing to me, too! Who knows what new horrors and wonders tomorrow may bring? "There is nothing either good nor bad, but thinking makes it so." Thank you, Mr. Shakespeare!
Wednesday, January 20, 2021
The Hill We Climb
Today, a 22-year-old woman recited a poem she had written at the Inauguration of the President of the United States. I can't stop thinking about it.
"The Hill We Climb" - by Amanda Gorman
"When day comes we ask ourselves
Where can we find light in this never-ending shade?
The loss we carry,
A sea we must wade.
We braved the belly of the beast;
We’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace.
And the norms and notions of what just is
Isn’t always justice.
And yet the dawn is ours before we knew it.
Somehow we do it;
Somehow we’ve weathered and witnessed
A nation that isn’t broken but simply unfinished.
We, the successors of a country and a time
Where a skinny black girl descended from slaves
And raised by a single mother can dream of becoming president,
Only to find herself reciting for one.
And yes we are far from polished, far from pristine,
But that doesn’t mean we aren’t striving to form a union that is perfect.
We are striving to forge a union with purpose,
To compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters and conditions of man.
And so we lift our gaze not to what stands between us,
But what stands before us.
We close the divide, because we know to put our future first,
We must first put our differences aside.
We lay down our arms
So we can reach out our arms to one another.
We seek harm to none and harmony for all.
Let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true:
That even as we grieved, we grew,
That even as we hurt, we hoped,
That even as we tired, we tried,
That we’ll forever be tied together, victorious—
Not because we will never again know defeat
But because we will never again sow division.
Scripture tells us to envision
That everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree,
And no one shall make them afraid.
If we’re to live up to our own time,
then victory won’t lie in the blade but in all the bridges we’ve made.
That is the promised glade,
The hill we climb if only we dare it.
Because being American is more than a pride we inherit,
It’s the past we step into and how we repair it.
We’ve seen a force that would shatter our nation rather than share it,
Would destroy our country if it meant delaying democracy.
And this effort very nearly succeeded,
But while democracy can be periodically delayed
It can never be permanently defeated.
In this truth, in this faith we trust,
For while we have our eyes on the future, history has its eyes on us.
This is the era of just redemption.
We feared at its inception.
We did not feel prepared to be the heirs of such a terrifying hour,
But within it we found the power
To author a new chapter,
To offer hope and laughter,
To ourselves sow. While once we asked:
How could we possibly prevail over catastrophe?
Now we assert: How could catastrophe possibly prevail over us?
We will not march back to what was,
But move to what shall be,
A country that is bruised but whole,
Benevolent but bold,
Fierce and free.
We will not be turned around or interrupted by intimidation
Because we know our inaction and inertia will be the inheritance of the next generation.
Our blunders become their burdens
But one thing is certain:
If we merge mercy with might and might with right,
Then love becomes our legacy
And change our children’s birthright.
So let us leave behind a country better than the one we were left.
With every breath of my bronze pounded chest,
We will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one.
We will rise from the golden hills of the West.
We will rise from the windswept Northeast where our forefathers first realized revolution.
We will rise from the lakeland cities of the Midwestern states.
We will rise from the sunbaked South.
We will rebuild, reconcile and recover
In every known nook of our nation,
In every corner called our country,
Our people, diverse and beautiful,
Will emerge battered and beautiful.
When day comes we step out of the shade,
Aflame and unafraid.
The new dawn blooms as we free it.
For there is always light if only we’re brave enough to see it,
If only we’re brave enough to be it."
Brava, Amanda Gorman!!
Tuesday, January 19, 2021
Let The Sun Shine
Inauguration Day is here! I think it’s more momentous and indicative of change than New Year’s Day, and it feels like a clean, new beginning to many of us. As perceptions would have it, many also see it as a dark day. Recent events have solidified my resolve to see things as they are, not as I think they should be, or how they were, or how they could have been, or how they might be tomorrow. I look forward to watching life transpire and I, personally, try to see with clean eyes and leave judgment out of my sight. This is not easy, but studying A Course in Miracles has helped in this endeavor. By not watching this unfolding with preconceived ideas of what it means, I hope to see more clearly what is really happening. These times we are living through are a fascinating study, but I’m tired of analysis. Songs keep running through my mind: All You Need is Love! Let the sunshine in, keep the faith, and somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue! Keep the faith, folks :)
Monday, January 18, 2021
Transitions
I remember when my dear friend, Sandy Starbird, said that she felt closer to her husband after he passed on than ever before. Although I could intellectually understand that, I didn't really "get" it. I do now. Kevin is in everything I see, in all I feel and touch, in every breath. And now I know he always was; I/we didn't see that because our physical senses got in the way. Another revelation is the magnitude of love being expressed every day by people I know. Genuine, caring concern is coming from all directions! Relatives and friends of Kevin's, whom I've never met, are opening up and showing kindness in the form of happy stories and offers of photographs. People I haven't heard from in ages are calling and commenting on my Facebook posts about Kevin. There is an outpouring of love which is astounding even to me! I usually expect everybody to be nice, but this is something else! I feel Kevin's loving embrace as I care for his dogs, letting them know there is nothing to fear, that they are safe and Kevin's love is still with us. His presence is with me while I wash dishes in my newly painted Peewee-Herman-hacienda-style kitchen. His love lives, and I am grateful to know it. The adventure we began a scant few years ago is still going on, but in another form. I'm at peace with this transition, and thankful for good friends and helping hands. Namaste...
Sunday, January 17, 2021
Then Shall You Truly Dance
Dear Friends,
"Then Almitra spoke, saying, We would ask now of Death.
And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance."
Kahlil Gibran
Saturday, January 16, 2021
Sending Love
There has been a situation in my life which helps me to be empathetic toward those who have loved ones who are ill. I had to call an ambulance for my Kevin tonight and he is at the hospital. It doesn’t appear to be Covid, but there are some alarming symptoms. The photo I include is of the wall in his computer porch. He painted it yesterday and loves it so much. I am visualizing him sitting there in the sunshine, looking at the wall he enjoyed composing. It is a beautiful expression of him. Not being able to be with him, not knowing what is happening, brings the situation facing millions into focus for me. It’s not easy living and loving in this time of covid, huh? I send healing love to everyone hurting tonight, for whatever reason, no matter who you are or where you are. May the families of those in hospitals find comfort in knowing that love has no boundaries. I know Kevin feels my love as solidly as that of his dogs, and vice versa. Time to tuck the dogs into bed with some comforting words. Love to all...
Friday, January 15, 2021
Love Sweet Love
"What the world needs now is love, sweet love." "Come on people now, Smile on your brother, Everybody get together, Try to love one another right now." "I see skies of blue, And clouds of white, The bright blessed day, The dark sacred night, And I think to myself, What a wonderful world." "All you need is love, All you need is love, All you need is love, love, Love is all you need." "You may say I'm a dreamer, But I'm not the only one, I hope someday you'll join us, And the world will be as one."
Thursday, January 14, 2021
Dead End Path?
When we think of extremist religious groups, perhaps the Islamic group al Qaeda comes to mind. Because Jesus was a man who spurned violence as much as he turned away from riches and power, we think of Christianity as a medium for peace and love. Unfortunately, this is not always true. The teachings of Jesus were simple: love your neighbor as yourself and God above all else. We are currently discovering many appalling things about our country's people, and the fact that many are waging violence because they think God is telling them to do so is frightening. It is beyond my ability to grasp this idea. Obviously pastors and others in charge are leading their flocks down dead-end paths. And for what reason? Our incoming president is a devout Catholic. The Reverend Raphael Warnock, newly elected senator from Georgia, is a Baptist minister, for goodness sakes! Why would Christians -- or anyone -- be opposed to good people simply because they are Democrats? I can only think of one reason: they have been demonized by religious leaders. I hope we can all remember that Jesus did not mean to start a religion; he came to teach us the way to peace, how to love without judgment, and to be empathetic to the plight of others. I pray for the day we can free ourselves of political parties and religious sects, allowing the purity of living from the heart without the ritual and rule of power-hungry leaders. Namaste...
Wednesday, January 13, 2021
I'll Meet You In The Field...
Well, it's been cold for quite some time! A dear friend stopped by for a visit today and it was like a breath of fresh air. Now that it's a bit warmer, I encourage everyone to get outside and breathe, even if you can't visit with friends for whatever the reasons. Carol and I felt comfortable sitting in the living room, as far away from each other as possible, but tomorrow should be warm enough to have a friends' circle out in the street, if we so choose. For everyone who is able to walk, take advantage of it! Oh, how nice it would be to go to Crystal Bridges and walk in the gardens, or sit in the sunshine and hear music and laughter. Writing these words bring to mind a favorite poem, so I shall leave you with it:
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase 'each other'
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.” Rumi
Tuesday, January 12, 2021
Introspection
Introspection is my word of the month. For many reasons, there is a need for self-examination in our world, and that looking within is obviously an individual project. Am I acting in certain ways because I think it’s what is expected of me, or am I being true to my inner Self? Am I jumping up on my proverbial high horse and looking down on others with a sanctimonious, holier-than-thou attitude? Maybe. It’s always been a personal fault. My pettiness could be interpreted in much the same way as I’m interpreting the actions of others, so I’m going to pay attention to that, sincerely. There is such beauty and goodness in this world. My prayer is to add to that glory...“If a friend informs us of a fault, do we listen patiently to the rebuke and credit what is said? Do we not rather give thanks that we are ‘not as other men’? During many years the author has been most grateful for merited rebuke. The wrong lies in unmerited censure, — in the falsehood which does no one any good.” Mary Baker Eddy - Science & Health Page 8:30
Monday, January 11, 2021
The Steering Mechanism of Human Experience
"Human thought is actually the steering mechanism of human experience." This statement I read recently can be interpreted in different ways, but I see how it has been demonstrated in my own life. Decades ago, I felt like a victim of life's circumstances. Of the top five stress-producing situations in life, I constantly was in the midst of two or three of them. It was a never-ending drama, with sadness which I tried to quelch by staying stoned all the time. It took years of concentrated effort to calm my thoughts and erase my addictions, but the reward has been happiness. It's easy to slip back into ways of thinking which bring distress -- such as being upset over political happenings, fear of disease, worry about children and loved ones. While I have not made a New Year's resolution to stop thinking this way, I have vowed to be thankful and to be aware of where my thought is steering me. I have preached to others the importance of our first thoughts upon waking and our last mental images before going to sleep. I've been lax in the good habits which became mine through practice. No matter what my waking thought is tomorrow morning, I want to turn it into this daily prayer which was given to us by Mary Baker Eddy: "'Thy kingdom come:' let the reign of divine Life, Truth, and Love be established in me, and rule out of me all sin [erroneous thoughts of separation]; and may Thy Word enrich the affections of all mankind, and govern them!"
Sunday, January 10, 2021
Golden Bridges
Mark Twain had a lot to say about human nature. He supposedly said that a lie can travel around the globe while the truth is still putting on its boots. As if to prove the point, he probably never said any such thing! Today we are wondering how lies have ensnared so many people. There is a belief that mainstream media is in cahoots to fool us all, and, sure enough, we all know of instances when the media have manipulated us. If someone believes that The Christian Science Monitor is part of the mainstream media plot to feed us lies, it’s very difficult to point to Reuters and The Associated Press as proof that the Monitor is reporting facts. If someone believes that Epoch Times and One America News are telling the truth, they can back it up by pointing to Fox opinions and thousands of youtube videos by Q-Anon adherents to prove that their version of the news is fact. Opinions and belief have deeply sunk their barbs into our society. In the past, I’ve said that I try not to have strong opinions because they close my mind to everything else. If this is true, closed minds can be opened by releasing damaging beliefs. I love this statement I read today: “The term ‘golden bridge’ comes from Sun Tzu, the great strategist and author of The Art of War, who said, ‘Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across.’ In the military setting, golden bridges are a way to encourage a losing adversary to leave peacefully rather than fight to the death.” Perhaps I just love the way this sounds: golden bridge. I’m going to hold that image while joining with my loving, compassionate brothers and sisters in this journey to truth.
Saturday, January 9, 2021
Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance is something most of us have experienced, but usually it occurs over something which doesn't really mess us up mentally -- such as, I know I shouldn't use plastic because it ends up in oceans. But what am I supposed to do? Looking at the image above causes a bit of distress in me because I want to rectify the images with the descriptions, but can't seem to move the words around in ways which make sense and feel right. I'm pretty sure many people are feeling this dissonance right now concerning things they have been convinced are true. The people I know who thoroughly believe the conspiracy theories they perpetuate as truth are feeling cognitive dissonance to the max! They believe they know things which most people don't know, and they have spent countless hours researching their findings, causing them to believe they are onto something which we "sheeple" don't know about or simply won't accept. The folks I know who believe these things are good people, friends even, and so I have examined my own thoughts deeply, on a regular basis, looking at things from other standpoints and trying my best to ascertain what is indeed going on in our world. My curiosity concerning how we have arrived at this place is so great that I vow to study hard and look for answers within myself, to change how I think about ideas I find offensive, and to go forward in a proactive way to help truth be known. I willingly acknowledge that our government needs restructuring, just as our police and healthcare systems do, but that doesn't mean we need to throw everything out, or throw up our hands in frustration declaring nothing can be done to fix them. There are solutions to every problem, and they begin with me and you. Let's all be gentle with each other and figure out what to do!
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